Children tend to alienate what they feel alienated by. Kids are obviously dedicated to the theory that everything moves in circles, they are obviously constantly dictated by this cyclical notion. People were always confused by me and my friends back in the days of high school because we listened to strange music and talked funny. Me and my friends (I can’t bring myself to say “My friends and I”, somehow that little piece of grammar will never make its way into my vernacular) would then talk shit about people that listened to strange music and talked funny. What was dirt now is shit, what was shit now is dirt.
Catch it too fast. Don’t.
Even though we had established our own particular pace even as children, sometimes that pace would take to a most irregular speed. I am reminded of this every time I manage to convince my pansy ass to stand on the edge of anything trying to defy gravity in its verticality, and then force myself to look down over its tight-lipped ends. These sick pangs of vertigo make me feel like the only safe way down is to slip over the railing and off the edge. I am so heavily urged to make that ill-fated jump that my stomach starts making its own leaps until I take a step back. I’m not sure why I associate this with wildness or childhood, but I’m pretty sure I’m thinking about instincts. Are we more instinctual as children, or less so? Are we complete idiots as kids, or have we become complete idiots? Think about the fact that Swamp Boy (Me you and everyone we know) likes to be the wolf as well as the rabbit (I also know that if I am to think about this statement any longer, I will immediately realize that it is wrong… but in the face of so much wrongness…). Maybe the creature from the Black Lagoon was really just a misunderstood sweet heart. Who knows, I certainly don’t.
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